Growth & Progress / Shout outs!

Over the course of the last couple of days, I learned that 4 people I know are preggo. My first thought was, as it always is, "Yay! That is awesome news for you! Congrats" But here is the GREAT news, my second thought which is normally, "why not me" or "why is it so easy for them" never reared its ugly head. I didn't even compare their current situation to that of my own nor did I figure the top 3 reasons why I am more ready or capable than this person to have a child. This is a HUGE step in the right direction for me. Maybe it seems small, or even crazy that I think those things in the first place, but its all very real for me. I am proud of myself for the growth that has taken place.

I want to thank a few people who have helped make this growth possible!

God - He is very patient with me. :)

My husband, Greg -He gets angry with me, (not at me, but he gets angry when I am angry) :) he holds me when I cry, he encourages me, and he pushes to be a better me. I would not have been able to make it through the past three years of trials without him. He is dealing with this time in our lives in his own way, but he ALWAYS puts my feelings first. He takes care of me, and my feelings about the whole situation before even given a thought to his own. I love him more than he will ever know.

My mom, Carolyn - She wants a baby for me, just as bad as I do. She is there at all my doctors appointments. She researches medicine, doctors, and natural ways to help us through this process. She keeps her faith, prays, and never gives up hope on her future grandchild.

My BBFF, Jax - She listens to me tell her the same story over and over again and she never yells at me or hangs up on me. She continues to encourage me with a 'cliche' while making me smile. She is still trying to convince me that yoga will fix all my problems.....Although I am not yet convinced, I did take her advice on working out again and I feel much better. She also convinced me to run a 5K with her in May, in Corpus Christi - YIKES! What have I gotten myself into??

A fellow blogger, Andrea - We didn't even know each other before Facebook, but we have created a friendship and a bond that not too many others would understand. I can't wait to meet her in person.

My husbands best friend, Cedric - I go to 'Cedie' for questions about EVERYTHING!! It's so funny how no matter what the topic is, the questions I have always get answered. He helped my husband and I through a rough patch in our marriage, and I just know he is here living with us now for a very God driven, purposeful reason. He is a wealth of knowledge and intelligence and a true blessing for my family.

Kelsey, Sandy, Vanessa, & April - They are honest about not understanding my pain, but somehow ALWAYS put a smile on my face! They make me laugh, pray for me, send me an encouraging word or song, and I want them to know that I appreciate their love for me.

The Cheesecakes, MoniLo, Veltastic, and Jtini - They don't say much, but they are always there. They don't tell me what I want to hear, they are very real with me. They are there when I hurt, and they get angry when I am angry. I know they will be some of the BIGGEST supporters when I do have a baby.

Last but NOT least - my new 'bestie' Keisha - I have only known her for about 6 months, but I have never had someone care about me on a day to day basis, get more angry about my situation than me, and try to fix things. She always wants to 'give me an answer' she always wants to make me feel better and she ALWAYS makes me laugh. She is a very strong person, and has my back. She reminds me that it is OK to scream and to get mad. She has also taught me that if all else fails, have a drink to calm my nerves. <3

Today I thank God for those He so strategically placed around me to get me through this season in my life.

THANK YOU ALL!!! I LOVE YOU!

Friends

I recently shared my blog with several people. I appreciate the fact that they took time away from work, school, family, and facebook to read my blog. I received several different text messages, emails, and comments. Some encouraging and others not so much. However, I learned something from all of them. I continue to be lifted up in prayer on a daily basis by people who have made a difference in my life and I hope that I have made a difference in theirs.

I am still reading the book 'Plan B' (I know Im slow) and it encourages me daily to keep the faith and know that He is with me. I don't want my blog to sound heartsick all the time but I do want to be real about my struggles and day to day thoughts. One day, when I am writing about my children and posting pictures about how happy I am, I want another woman reading it to know that I once felt the pain she is currently feeling. I want her to know that I understand her despair. I want her to gain hope from my story the same I am currently searching for and 'Holding on to Hope.'

Oh joy! Ovarian Cysts!!!!!

On Wednesday I went to see my doctor for a sonogram......not the happy kind of sonogram like when you hear a baby's heart beat but the kind they check and see why you are having a menstrual cycle every two weeks. The nurse, lady, sonogram person says, "All looks well on the right side." (I have heard this several times the past three years during several sonograms so I am laying there thinking, "Yes I know, its all normal in there, no problems..") Then she moves over to the left side and says, "Oh, you have an ovarian cyst on your left ovary." In my head I said, "Oh, ok great!" Out loud I said, "what does that mean." She proceeds to make it sound like no big deal, not a problem, very common. This same woman told me that MTHFR is very common too. I still HATE it!!

She is very good at her job, I know she and other doctors and nurses see this stuff everyday but when you are the person going through it, you don't give a crap about how "common" it is!

So the cyst should go away in about 6 weeks. Currently sounds like a lifetime away for me. If it doesn't, then I take birth control for two to three months. If that doesn't work.....well then we will cross that bridge when we get to it one step at a time.

In the meantime, I will start taking a pill 3 days after my next cycle starts that will trick my brain into thinking my ovaries are not working and it will make them work harder. Increasing our chances. Could even up our chances for having twins. Wouldn't that be fabulous!!! I could make up for some lost time and have two babies for the cost of 5! :) (the 3 I have lost, and the price it would be to have two at the same time) I truly would LOVE to have twins, but really all I want now is one healthy happy baby.

On another note, we welcomed Skaius Jermaine Foster, and Jach Martin Glass in the family on Thursday and Friday this past week. Both as cute as can be and healthy babies! Can't wait to watch them grow up! I might have to ask both moms to guest write on my blog to tell their completely opposite birth stories. One in labor 6 hours and having a C-section and the other in labor for an hour and a half, pushed twice and the baby came right out. Both were first time mommies! Wow!

Marcus and baby Skai

Velvette and Jach! Beautiful!

2011

Happy New Year!!

I was happy not to have a child for the first time in a long time on NYE. We had so much fun!! From what I remember. :)

I did however get to spend time with Isaiah Foster. Daniel and Ashley had their healthy baby boy and we spent time with him this past week. He is too cute!

Here's to hoping that 2011 is our year to bring a child into the world.

Next two weeks we will be welcoming two more babies into the family. Skai Foster - Gregs other brother Macus and his wife Brandi are having a son and Velvette and Zach - some of our best friends will have baby Jach Glass sometime the next few days. Happy for them all but sad that I have not yet been able to experience what they are all experiencing right now.