Now What?

It didn't work. We are not pregnant. Even though it seemed as if God himself had his hand on every little step I took last month. It's like no matter what, there is always something preventing this from happening. I can't even begin to find words to describe what it felt like when I got my cycle. It had already been a pretty bad week all around, this was just the icing on the cake.

I tried explaining to my husband that each time this happens, each time I get pregnant and have nothing to show for it, or each time I think we are pregnant and we are not, I lose a little piece of my heart.

I'm really just in a bad place right now. I feel like I am living this life that is not my own. Although very blessed in so many area's, it almost feels like there was a mistake in the plan. Like this life would be fine for someone else, just not me. I never imagined that this would be my struggle. I know we all struggle with things in life, I just thought my struggle would be something else, something small, and something that could be fixed easily.

I don't really know what else to do. I am about ready to give up. I know that sounds sad, and like I'm quiting but really, it is so hard. They say prayer works, but does it really? I called upon everyone I knew to pray for us, and nothing. What is the point of praying if God already has his plan set?

What is the point?