I am a 30 year old female who is not totally happy with my life. Don't get me wrong, I have a tremendous amount to be thankful for, but that doesn't mean life is what I thought it would be. What I thought it should be. I am a planner. I always have a plan. I have been that way since I can remember. I use to plan my clothes for the week as far back as Kindergarten. My BBFF, joo joo, has made fun of the fact that I would lay out my clothes the night before school and match everything from my panties to my socks.
My plan was to graduate high school, go to college, get married, become a child psychologist, have kids, become a stay at home mommy, be the best mom in the world, get my 3 -5 kids all in school, then go back to my private practice as one of the best child psychologists in Dallas, Texas. REALITY check - I graduated from high school, went to college, got married, became a teacher, and I don't have any kids. In the plan, I should have had at least one kid by the time I was 23 years old. Instead, I am now 30 and I have lost the first 3 out of 5 kids I hoped to have one day. I have a condition called MTHFR. I have had 3 early miscarriages because of this. It have been a trying two years. God has been working on me. I have learned that He could careless about my plans. It has been a hard lesson to learn, but hey, I am a work in progress.
My goal is to use this blog to express the emotions I have regularly instead of complaining to my wonderful husband over and over again. Maybe along the way someone else decides to read it and it helps them too.
H Nikia,
ReplyDeleteThank you for sharing your blog with me. I am sorry to read of your struggle to have a baby and start a family, and please know I will keep you in my prayers. Never lose your faith. God always has a plan, even if it does not go according to our plans. ((BIG HUG)) Just know he will provide.
I am happy you have started a blog...I hope you will find that writing will become a solace for you. It has been mine since I was in the 3rd grade, and it is my most faithful companion. It never judges, never interrupts, it just lets you talk and never stops listening. So don't stop writing. Don't write for others, write for yourself.